Hello! If you’re new to POWERS, welcome! To those returning, welcome back! My name is Carolyn Fallert. I’m a 5’3” writer and retired ballerina. Here, I share my self-defense journey to help you stay safe and reclaim the best version of yourself.
You are worth fighting for. Thanks for being here.
When I train in self-defense, I’m often up in people’s personal spaces — and they are up in mine. We practice clinch holds, defending against bear hugs, plucking chokes from each other’s throats, and grappling on the ground.
After spending so much time exchanging sweat with other people, it’s easy to forget: my best first move is to keep my attacker out of my personal space.
I wrote a Substack a few weeks ago about how it’s ok to walk away from violence. In fact, in self-defense, it’s best to run away as fast as you can. If we can avoid getting into a physical fight with someone, we should.
That being said, running away isn’t always an option.
When we can’t run away, the next best thing is to create distance between our bodies and our attacker.
In my self-defense classes, I’ve learned several techniques for doing this.
The first is to create a physical barrier between me and my attacker. It could be a shopping cart, a garbage bin, a locked door, or whatever is available to me at the time. I position this barrier between me and my attacker so it’s more difficult for them to touch me.
If I feel threatened and someone is already in my personal space, I can physically push my attacker away with my hands, grounding in my fighting stance for extra power, and creating as much distance as possible between us.
A slightly more advanced option is a defensive front kick. For this move, I start in my fighting stance for stability. I bring my knee up and extend my leg to push my attacker away using the whole sole of my foot. I keep a slight bend in my knee to avoid over-extending it and aim for their midsection — about where their belt buckle would be.
Most of us have more strength in our lower bodies than in our upper bodies, so using our legs to push an attacker away is a powerful way to create space and maintain distance.
I demonstrated these different techniques in a recent Instagram reel. You can see them shown here:
When we can’t run away from an attacker, creating distance between our bodies and the source of violence gives us more time to respond and increases our chance of survival.
I’ve found that “creating distance” is helpful beyond the mat at the fighter’s gym. Right now, we are bombarded with information about and images of violence and injustice on social media and in the news. We might feel enmeshed in toxic relationships that have their unique flavor of violence. We might experience violence in our workplace or at home.
Creating distance between our bodies and these sources of violence gives us more time to respond. We find the space we need to process what’s happening and choose our next best move.
Off the mat, this might look like taking a deep breath before responding in conversation, giving yourself some time alone in the bathroom, taking a break from social media for an hour, or getting out of town for a few days.
However you feel called to create distance, is the right answer for you.
Creating distance helps us survive — and thrive — on and off the mat because it gives us time to respond to the violence around us.
How do you create distance between yourself and sources of violence? How do you find time to respond to everything happening in life? I’d love to hear your answer!
Take care out there. You are worth fighting for.
With fist bumps and fancy pumps,
Carolyn
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For more content, you can also follow me on Instagram: @ carolynfallert